February 2012
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Text conversations with my mom
Mom: Dad says- Is The Scary Man (what she calls Marilyn Manson) still alive?
Me: Heck yeah, he's gained some weight and looks all cute!
Mom: Ew. you know he's only ten years younger than me and only seventeen years younger than your father. AND cheated on his wife?
Me: For someone who hates him as much as you claim to, you sure know a lot about him.
Mom: you called The Scary Man "cute". am not talking to you right now.
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I love him (Part 2)
Me: (After getting an e-mail from a friend) WTF?! Now she tells me she could get me preferred seating to Marilyn Manson in Dallas? AFTER we bought tickets to the Houston show?!
Fiancé: Get the Dallas tickets too! Manson tour through Texas!
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I love him
Me: what if I didn't get the right tickets? what if GA- standing room isn't close to the stage?! what am i going to do?!?!?
Fiance: I'll cause a scene and you'll just sneak by!
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I'M GOING TO SEE MARILYN MANSON IN HOUSTON!
I’M GOING TO SEE MARILYN MANSON IN HOUSTON!
I’M GOING TO SEE MARILYN MANSON IN HOUSTON!
I’M GOING TO SEE MARILYN MANSON FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2004!!!!
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I wonder how mad my fiancé would be if I spent money out of our wedding budget to see MM in Ohio…. Probably not THAT mad. You can have a BYOB wedding reception, right?
…right.
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I feel so much better basking in moonlight than I ever do wasting away in the sun. My little black cat Draco sits next to me, his green eyes full of starlight. I love the stillness of the desert on these nights. My mind is whirring pleasantly and my body can feel the moon urging me to run. I want to live forever under this moon, caught in these stars that turns my black hair to the inky blue of...
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The Girl on Fire: What happens if you fall in love... →
redlipsinkships:
Lots of things might happen. That’s the thing about writers. They’re unpredictable. They might bring you eggs in bed for breakfast, or they might all but ignore you for days. They might bring you eggs in bed at three in the morning. Or they might wake you up for sex at three in the morning. Or…
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A conversation about marriage (with some...
Classmate #1: Like, I'm okay with gay people wanting to be with each other. But marriage should be between a guy and a girl.
Classmate #2: I don't even want to see it. Like, it's nasty.
Me: Oh my god! I know! My neighbor was talking about how he and his Jewish girlfriend wanna get married and I was like "Why should you two be allowed to get married?" in my head. I mean, why would they think it was okay for a Christian and a Jew to get married. Disgusting.
Classmates: ....
Me: And let me tell you about this other couple I saw making out at the mall. It was nasty. The boy was white and the girl was black. Can you believe that? Two people of different races being together? That's just wrong.
Classmate #2: What the hell is wrong with you? So what if they want to be together?
Classmate #1: Yeah, there isn't anything wrong with it.
Me: Are you kidding me? It's completely wrong.There is only one kind of marriage that is okay. And that is between a man and a woman of the same race, religious background, with the same income level and from the same place. We wouldn't want kids to think that diversity is okay. God wouldn't appreciate these people ruining the sanctity of marriage.
Classmate #1: Why are you even in this conversation? God loves everyone.
Me: What? So you're telling me that God doesn't care who you marry, because he loves everyone?
Classmate #1: Yeah...
Me: Does he love animals, too?
Classmate #1: He loves human and animals and living creatures all around.
Me: Whoa. That just blew my mind. Well it is a good thing that gay people can't get married then. Because everyone knows that gay people aren't human, or living for that matter. Haha.
Classmate #1: ....
Me: Go choke on a dick you stupid prick.
I got in trouble, but it was worth it ;)
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Why should you know your musicals?
So you can giggle throughout an episode of Desperate Housewives titled, “God, That’s Good!”
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We Will Be Censoring All Of Tumblr Tonight At...
Oh noes! Everybody panic!
blind-lazarus:
This is such bullshit.
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January 2012
31 posts
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sierrawuzheer:
“A gurl was walkin2 skewl wit her...
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If I were in a chuck palahniuk book I’d have a tiny moon by my name. I’d love to live somewhere with people like me.
Fuck Yeah William Control: “Hey Little Sister” An... →
marilynfuckingmanson:
Indulge me for a moment: imagine you are lucky enough to have a little sister, niece, wife, or mother; a woman with which you hold a deep affinity. A woman that you would go to great lengths to protect from any harm that travels in her direction. Now realize, statistically, that probably makes…
I know this has nothing to do with Manson, but I feel like everyone should...
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Me: Frank Oz is the voice of Fozzie Bear.
Fiance: Ohhhh! ...who's Fozzie Bear?
Me: You're killing me, Smalls!
Fiance: ....what?
Me: The Sandlot...?
Fiance: Never saw it.
Me: Gaaahhh!!
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Evanescence/Marilyn Manson mashup
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I hate having an Espanola number
Random caller: *random slurring and expletives.*
Me: Shakespeare?! Is that you?!
RC: *something about coming to "get me" for "stealing her man"*
Me: You never thought Shakespeare would sound so unromantic... until he tried meth.
RC: *click*
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Mohandas Gandhi: Dear Customer who stuck up for... →
sweetupndown:
you thought I didn’t really notice. But I did. I wanted to high-five you.
Yesterday I had a pair of brothers in my store. One was maybe between 15-17. He was a wrestler at the local high school. Kind of tall, stocky and handsome. He had a younger brother, who was maybe about…
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Spider, (who has rolled in the dust so many times she is no longer black and white but gray) attemped to bathe the top of Draco’s head.
His head is now covered in dusty/muddy streaks. It’s so cute and I can’t find my damn camera!
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My mom rocks
Mom: You have a blog? You should send us the link!
Me: I could... but i don't think you'll like it... there's a lot of pictures of Marilyn Manson on there.
Mom: Ew.
Me: Rude.
Mom: i tried to understand him for your benefit! I really did! i read his whole horrible book! Ew!
Me: You... read The Long Hard Road Out of Hell? For my benefit? When?
Mom: When you were 12. I checked it out of the library. You seemed so intent on making that man a permanent part of your life. I just wanted to understand.
Me: Aww... Mom!
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Just another day at work...
Co-worker #1: You would not believe what happened to me….
Co-worker #2 and me: ??!!
CW#1: Well, I was checking *private hot tub* last week at night, it was near the end of a double shift, I don’t really know what I was thinking…. I saw what I thought was a clump of leaves in the tub so I stuck my hand into the water…
Me: …wait… your bare hand?
CW#1:...
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Apparently no one on the Glee Karaoke app appreciates my a cappella cover of Marilyn Manson’s Coma White. Is it because Lea Michele hasn’t done it first?
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The Awkward Moment when....
you’re staying in a hotel and taking a shower when the timed fan and warming lamp turn off and you’re like, “OMG, Norman Bates!”
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This is why I'm marrying him
Fiance: Are you sure you don't want to go to *friend's* (his friend, not mine) birthday party?
Me: I just think it's dumb to go to the birthday party of someone you don't like. It's like, "Nah, i'm not here to celebrate your birth! I hate you! I'm just here to drink your booze and write about all the dumb things you say on Tumblr!"
Fiance: Didn't you say *friend* and Marilyn Manson have the same birthday? You could just be like, "I'm not here to celebrate your birth, fuck you! Thanks for throwing a party for Marilyn Manson sucka!"